the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
this is an emotional support booty call
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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