Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
