10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
