my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I have grass duct taped all over my body
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
