I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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