I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
