Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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