I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
