i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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