just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
