I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
