What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
