I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
