so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
