I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
