She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
