Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
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