I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
