you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
