So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
