babies were throwing up all over the place
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
