what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
