tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
