i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize