So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
