you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
