i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
