happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
