Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
