FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
