what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
