You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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