when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
