I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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