Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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