so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
