Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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