you guys were way drunker than both of me
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
