He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
