so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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