she was so not down for the gang bang
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
so let's talk penis.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
