i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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