Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
there's paper in my vomit.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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