Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Randomize
