So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
