that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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