After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
