I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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