There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
