Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
