I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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