so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
