her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
