HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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