Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
