You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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