Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
