so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
