Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
