She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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