somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
