It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Your cock deserves a montage
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
