I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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