I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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