u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
