I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
