Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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