We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
