i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
