weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize