don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
