I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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