omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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