I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
