do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Randomize
