her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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